Tidy women have boring lives

Apparently, the average British woman spends more than 16hrs a week doing housework and devotes nearly 2.5hrs to it per day, compared to just under an hour on her personal appearance.

Not me. On either count. My house is clean, but not spotless and does not in any way resemble the pages of 'Living' magazine. If you want to sit down on a comfy chair, the chances are, you'll have to remove either toys or clean washing or a cat before you can be sure of full possession. Men also remove the cushion. My boys remove the cushion to the floor which they feel is the appropriate place for it, sitting on it to watch tele. And then leave it there. Generally, the place gets a good clean and tidy before impending visitors which is how many of my friends operate too judging by the state of their houses when I have popped round unannounced.

The women in the survey said that cleaning made them feel in control of their lives. Poor things. How sad is that? They should be out there getting a life, not prevaricating by spending it cleaning! A third also said they preferred cleaning to having sex. What does that say about their partners? Would I agree with that statement? Um, *thinking* (but not too hard), no, I think I can safely say that at no time do I ever prefer housework to sex. Makes you realise that there's an awful lot of sexual incompatibility out there.

As for my personal appearance, if I wished to spend an hour on it, I'd have to get up at 6.15am so you can forget that. Anyway, I'm not THAT in need of artifice...

How would French women compare? Good question. Many of them are obsessive about having immaculate homes, such as my ex-mother-in-law. I also remember asking a class of adults taking English classes some 'how many' questions, and one was 'How many times do you sweep the floor per day?' and one woman said 5. She worked full-time too. I was flabbergasted. You may think this is an odd question to ask in an English class, but I was trying to keep myself interested by finding out about their lives instead of sticking to bog-standard textbook subjects. Anything to keep boredom at bay.

At a wild guess, I'd suppose the numbers are similar in Britain and France, except for the one about sex which I really can't believe. I mean, who could honestly prefer doing a 'shake and vac' to having a good shag (that dates me dunnit)? Talk about depressing!